What I Saw, And Liked, in Theaters in 2011, Part 2

Ugh. I have no love for "Sucker Punch" other than the affection implied when I say this, what I experienced must be the same five stages of disappointment a teacher suffers when a star student submits a stiff, stale, stolid stinker.

What do the Zack Snyder triumphs "Dawn of the Dead," "300" and "Watchmen" all share that "Sucker Punch" does not? Each was adapted from original material written by other storytellers. "Sucker Punch?" Story and screenplay by Snyder. The visuals are insane, and I'll suffer any excuse to watch Carla Gugino merely draw breath, even if the exhalation produces a hysterically terrible com-bloc accent. I suggest "Californication," Season 4, or "Watchmen" for that matter, to reset your crush.

But even watching the preview a-way back in 2010, with a woman over 40, thank you very much, I felt a mounting anxiety, like watching the soda jerk pile your ice cream too high in the dish. And then she stage-whispered "that looks ridiculous." And it did. And it was.

Sidebar. I also bear a special, everlasting grudge for this particular movie because it was the first one I saw in 2011 at a Harkins theater, which offers free-popcorn loyalty shirts ($20) and $1-refill loyalty cups ($5). And despite seeing a matinee ($7), the privilege of being sucker-punched by one of my favorite filmmakers cost me 30-[redacted]-2 dollars.

Okay, I've drained the abscess. Excelsior!

What I Saw, And Liked, in Theaters in 2011, Part 1

I'm going to attack this chronologically, and it's just going to be quick and dirty, whatever comes to mind. Nnngo!

"The Fighter," what more can I say that hasn't already been said, now, a year later? It was David O. Russell's first feature since the difficult "I Heart Huckabees," (2004), a movie I feel I should like more than I do, but will have to watch more times than I have.

This one is more accessible, being straightforward uplifting biopic grist. Wahlberg is his usual sturdy lead, "The Happening" notwithstanding. Amy Adams plays a fully formed, gritty, sexy adult ladywoman. A refreshing change of pace. Conan O'Brien's sister is here too, playing one of the knockabout sisters. And Christian Bale, again with the whipsaw weight loss and gain and loss again. From machinist Trevor Reznik to Batman to Dieter Dengler to John Connor to Dicky Eklund, he continues to worry me. These ups and downs are just not good for you. (Which brings to mind the ascendance of the brutal, fantastic Tom Hardy, but I'll get to him on another day.) The performance is spooky, sad, funny and sympathetic. And pretty spot on when compared to the real life footage played through the end credits, and was amply rewarded at the business end of several red carpets.

"Megamind," great script, great cast of voice actors, and an actual scary villain in the Jonah Hill-voiced Titan. Hell hath no fury like a fanboy scorned. But despite making about $140M, it cost about $130M to make and had the misfortune of following close on the heels of another villain turned hero tale: "Despicable Me," ($69M to make, made $250M+). Still, a lot of fun.







Harrison Ford continues to insist on bringing the curmudgeon he seems to have actually become to the screen. Enjoy!

Actually, do. It's the right choice here. But I would like to see him whoop it up with something approaching joy just one more time. I'm looking at you "Cowboys & Aliens." Even though it's the right choice there too. Would someone just cast him in a cupcake shop on the skids movie already?

Well, Diane Keaton, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Wilson and Ty Burrell are all charming and funny and winning and the anti-Phil Dunphy as necessary for this paper cone of cotton candy to work as it does. And Rachel McAdams, or her booty double (who cares which, really), provides pretty solid proof that she looks Frosted Flakes in boy shorts: grrreat!

"The Social Network." Yeahyeahyeah, Eisenberg plays sinister like you haven't seen before. Timberlake surprises. He's a remora along for the ride in "Alpha Dog," but here he's the dead-eyed shark, circling. Fincher crushes as usual. Sorkin writes the impossible, the story of facebook, equaled, maybe surpassed, only by the adaptation of the baseball economics treatise "Moneyball." Oh, which Sorkin also wrote. I hear he's got a treatment for Tom Friedman's "The Lexus and The Olive Tree." In theaters July 4th!

But what jumps out at me now, a year later, is the introduction of Rooney Mara to big time features. Briefly appearing as Zuckerberg's girlfriend in the opening, she jilts him and sets his obsessiveness in motion, the engine that drives the whole picture. Now she can be seen reprising Noomi Rapace's role as the girl with the dragon tattoo in the English-language remake. (Noomi, Rooney, that's funny.) Well, having read the book, and seen both movies, as good as Rapace's performance was, Mara's Lisbeth Salander seems the more feral and faithful to the book. But more on that later.

Still Bill

Released in 2009, this documentary catches up with 1970s/80s R&B singer-songwriter Bill Withers, who wrote, among a lot of songs to which you might be surprised to find you know all the words (“Lean on Me,” “Lovely Day,” “Just the Two of Us”), one of my very favorites: “Ain’t No Sunshine.”

He released his final studio album in 1989 and left the limelight with little explanation in the early 90s. After growing up in a coal mining camp in West Virginia with a stutter, serving 9 years in the Navy and making toilet seats on a Boeing production line, Withers didn’t find fame until, with zero music education or experience, he wrote his first song, “…Sunshine,” in his early 30s. Incredible. I’m a fan and this doc only increased my appreciation of the music and the man. Especially touching are his visit to a theater group for kids with stutters and his daughter, Kori, singing her song “Blue Blues” for him.

Incidentally, I learned about this one listening to the podcast "The Joe Rogan Experience." Turns out the former Taekwando champion, “Talk Radio” player, “Fear Factor” host and current UFC commentator, is a pretty clever monkey and a rock solid comic. His specials “Live” and “Talking Monkeys in Space” are both streamable on Netflix.

As Blake would say now, “ooh-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah!"

Apes Will Rise

Well, that's a shame. Being that exposition is always my favorite part, the prequel Rise of the Planet of the Apes is set right where I prefer to vacation. Iconic franchise, great cast, exciting trailer, complete with blatting horns and tick-ticky stopwatch tension. And yet, no deal.

For the same reason True Grit (2010), despite all the knockdown, dragout kickassery it featured, left me disappointed in the end, Rise will fall: cartoon monkeys. True, Grit's failure was snakes, but the dissimulacrumilarity's the same. (Yep! New word, made it up, try it free for 30 days.) Why go digital when you can so easily use practical effects. See: the snake chamber in Raiders, the shapeshift in An American Werewolf in London, Kermit riding a bike. What do these movies have in common? They're all more than 25 years old. Surely suits and prosthetics have improved in the last generation. Weta Digital's behind the animation here, which is funny considering their role in the Rings Trilogy, populated with legions of suited, masked, completely convincing orcs and tigers and bears. Oh my.

Also gorillas can't pull helicopters out of the sky. But who am I this morning, other than a bespectacled, over-caffeinated nerd in his pajamas. Watch the trailer and decide for yourself.

'Friends' Clone Round-Up

‘Traffic Light’ The slightest of the contenders. Less funny than just amusing. But, Roy from the office, and that dude w/ the big black glasses who was in ‘Scott Pilgrim.’

‘Cougar Town’ Funny, stars an actual Friend and Christa Miller of Scrubs 1.0. Plus drunks.

‘Perfect Couples’ Recently cancelled, but a favorite. Olivia Munn, Waitress from ‘Sunny,’ the Biederman doppelganger David Walton and dammit, when is Kyle Bornheimer of the late, great ‘Worst Week’ going to land a show that sticks?

‘Happy Endings’ The newest of the pack, and not bad. Elisha Cuthbert (bonus points if you know why this line is funny: “Are you trying to get yourself sold into white slavery?”), the grouchy blond from Scrubs 2.0, and the least annoying Wayans: Damon Jr., which is to say not Marlon. Also, most importantly, features my second favorite Casey Wilson.