Ugh. I have no love for "Sucker Punch" other than the affection implied when I say this, what I experienced must be the same five stages of disappointment a teacher suffers when a star student submits a stiff, stale, stolid stinker. What do the Zack Snyder triumphs "Dawn of the Dead," "300" and "Watchmen" all share that "Sucker Punch" does not? Each was adapted from original material written by other storytellers. "Sucker Punch?" Story and screenplay by Snyder. The visuals are insane, and I'll suffer any excuse to watch Carla Gugino merely draw breath, even if the exhalation produces a hysterically terrible com-bloc accent. I suggest "Californication," Season 4, or "Watchmen" for that matter, to reset your crush.
But even watching the preview a-way back in 2010, with a woman over 40, thank you very much, I felt a mounting anxiety, like watching the soda jerk pile your ice cream too high in the dish. And then she stage-whispered "that looks ridiculous." And it did. And it was.
Sidebar. I also bear a special, everlasting grudge for this particular movie because it was the first one I saw in 2011 at a Harkins theater, which offers free-popcorn loyalty shirts ($20) and $1-refill loyalty cups ($5). And despite seeing a matinee ($7), the privilege of being sucker-punched by one of my favorite filmmakers cost me 30-[redacted]-2 dollars.
Okay, I've drained the abscess. Excelsior!
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