Have your movie-watching habits changed since joining the cult, er, subscribing to Netflix? I now watch the clock as much as the movie. Sure, back in the day I'd look at my watch and think "well, Hudson hasn't bought the farm, Newt hasn’t gone for a swim and I know there’s an alien queen in here somewhere. Yes! We've got a good 20-30 solid minutes left here." It was a joyful, relieved feeling. “Whee, there's lots of escapist wonderfulmentness left."
But now, there's an accountant in the back of my head, clattering away on his abacus. He’s Chinese. He calculates whether I'm going to finish this movie tonight, how many movies that makes this month, will I keep my average up? I had to throw a 24-movie month in there just to hover around 10 per. (By "had to" I mean women found me repulsive for a brief, free, falling period.)
I’ve tried to break the habit. I taped over the counter on my DVD player. I taped over the counter on my girlfriend’s DVD player. I find myself doing the math anyway. I try not to look at the running time on the envelope or glance at the clock on the wall. But eventually I do, and then I can't put the math out of my head and I’m not watching the movie. About a year ago I purged about 100 movies from my queue that Netflix predicted I’d rate lower than 3 stars. I’ve only re-added about 40 of them.
And it’s never going to stop. My queue thumbs its’ nose at my mortality. In any given month I add more than 10 movies to my queue. If I stopped adding altogether it would still take me almost two years to see the movies I’ve already saved. I’ll never catch up, not that I really want to I guess. I just want to get current. See also: my DVR backlog, the stack of books on my nightstand, the thank you notes I owe for Christmas presents, the calories I consumed yesterday…ad finitum. Agh.
But now, there's an accountant in the back of my head, clattering away on his abacus. He’s Chinese. He calculates whether I'm going to finish this movie tonight, how many movies that makes this month, will I keep my average up? I had to throw a 24-movie month in there just to hover around 10 per. (By "had to" I mean women found me repulsive for a brief, free, falling period.)
I’ve tried to break the habit. I taped over the counter on my DVD player. I taped over the counter on my girlfriend’s DVD player. I find myself doing the math anyway. I try not to look at the running time on the envelope or glance at the clock on the wall. But eventually I do, and then I can't put the math out of my head and I’m not watching the movie. About a year ago I purged about 100 movies from my queue that Netflix predicted I’d rate lower than 3 stars. I’ve only re-added about 40 of them.
And it’s never going to stop. My queue thumbs its’ nose at my mortality. In any given month I add more than 10 movies to my queue. If I stopped adding altogether it would still take me almost two years to see the movies I’ve already saved. I’ll never catch up, not that I really want to I guess. I just want to get current. See also: my DVR backlog, the stack of books on my nightstand, the thank you notes I owe for Christmas presents, the calories I consumed yesterday…ad finitum. Agh.
3 comments:
I'm not sure of the phenomenon, but it sounds like something on the order of: If the numbers are there, you will crunch them. Netflix and every other online service gives us an overwhelming amount of data and choice. We really don't need that much data or choice, but we're convinced we do, and woe to the company that tries to take it away from us.
I think this ties in with my shampoo theory nicely. Go to a largish walmart/target type of store and look at the shampoo aisle. Not just for 5 seconds to pick up the usual, but really look at what they are offering. It's F'ing overwhelming. I guarantee that if you removed all but 3 kinds of shampoo, you would never notice the difference in how people's hair would look, life would continue just fine. Unfortunately you'd be deaf from the public screaming at the fact that their pro-vitamin or garnier fructis whatever is gone.
The bottom line, there's too much choice, and you have to silence the evil voice of opportunity cost. To add some glibness, it's not the destination of completeness, but the journey of the attempt.
Now I'm upset cuz I'm thinking about garnier fructis. You do know there is acutally a shampoo named that right? WHAT THE F DOES GARNIER FRUCTIS ACTUALLY MEAN? CAN ANYONE TELL ME? I wonder if I write garnier fructis here enough it will show up in a google search. That would be sweet, cuz then I'd post that if you use garnier fructis you are a total a-hole.
Sorry, end of rant.
I think Carolyn has some Garnier Fructis in the shower caddy. I don't use it though. I prefer my homemade salt water and beeswax emulsion. It keeps my coat healthy and shiny.
Damn, I got all excited because I thought I was getting a review of Clockers!
Well, I like the name of the blog by the way. Netflog. That's good namin'.
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