Have your movie-watching habits changed since joining the cult, er, subscribing to Netflix? I now watch the clock as much as the movie. Sure, back in the day I'd look at my watch and think "well, Hudson hasn't bought the farm, Newt hasn’t gone for a swim and I know there’s an alien queen in here somewhere. Yes! We've got a good 20-30 solid minutes left here." It was a joyful, relieved feeling. “Whee, there's lots of escapist wonderfulmentness left."
But now, there's an accountant in the back of my head, clattering away on his abacus. He’s Chinese. He calculates whether I'm going to finish this movie tonight, how many movies that makes this month, will I keep my average up? I had to throw a 24-movie month in there just to hover around 10 per. (By "had to" I mean women found me repulsive for a brief, free, falling period.)
I’ve tried to break the habit. I taped over the counter on my DVD player. I taped over the counter on my girlfriend’s DVD player. I find myself doing the math anyway. I try not to look at the running time on the envelope or glance at the clock on the wall. But eventually I do, and then I can't put the math out of my head and I’m not watching the movie. About a year ago I purged about 100 movies from my queue that Netflix predicted I’d rate lower than 3 stars. I’ve only re-added about 40 of them.
And it’s never going to stop. My queue thumbs its’ nose at my mortality. In any given month I add more than 10 movies to my queue. If I stopped adding altogether it would still take me almost two years to see the movies I’ve already saved. I’ll never catch up, not that I really want to I guess. I just want to get current. See also: my DVR backlog, the stack of books on my nightstand, the thank you notes I owe for Christmas presents, the calories I consumed yesterday…ad finitum. Agh.
But now, there's an accountant in the back of my head, clattering away on his abacus. He’s Chinese. He calculates whether I'm going to finish this movie tonight, how many movies that makes this month, will I keep my average up? I had to throw a 24-movie month in there just to hover around 10 per. (By "had to" I mean women found me repulsive for a brief, free, falling period.)
I’ve tried to break the habit. I taped over the counter on my DVD player. I taped over the counter on my girlfriend’s DVD player. I find myself doing the math anyway. I try not to look at the running time on the envelope or glance at the clock on the wall. But eventually I do, and then I can't put the math out of my head and I’m not watching the movie. About a year ago I purged about 100 movies from my queue that Netflix predicted I’d rate lower than 3 stars. I’ve only re-added about 40 of them.
And it’s never going to stop. My queue thumbs its’ nose at my mortality. In any given month I add more than 10 movies to my queue. If I stopped adding altogether it would still take me almost two years to see the movies I’ve already saved. I’ll never catch up, not that I really want to I guess. I just want to get current. See also: my DVR backlog, the stack of books on my nightstand, the thank you notes I owe for Christmas presents, the calories I consumed yesterday…ad finitum. Agh.
2 comments:
I think Carolyn has some Garnier Fructis in the shower caddy. I don't use it though. I prefer my homemade salt water and beeswax emulsion. It keeps my coat healthy and shiny.
Damn, I got all excited because I thought I was getting a review of Clockers!
Well, I like the name of the blog by the way. Netflog. That's good namin'.
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