Blade Trinity: I like a vampire movie as much as the next guy. Probably even more, given this is the first of two I've seen in the past couple weeks. But this one stinks. The effects look like they were made on a TV budget. Ryan Reynolds makes the most of the incessant Van Helsing-meets-Van Wilder cracks written for him, but he just wears you down. Alright already, you're the wise guy. Shut up. And I think Wesley Snipes believes he really is Blade. Too silly plus too serious equals one too many Blade movies. 2 stars.
Nanny McPhee: This one's not bad, just slight. And predictable. It would be fun to watch with a kid, but doesn't really stand on it's own. I liked the art direction, though. Each character's color palette is fun, but nothing you haven't seen before. It's nice to see Emma Thompson again, and when the warts and all disappear you remember, wow, she's beautiful. But overall a forgettable diversion. 3 stars.
Near Dark: Vampire picture #2. Now we're getting somewhere. This brood of vampires is imagined as a gritty little band of bloodsucking, daylight-fearing, wise-cracking hobos. There's the craggy, grizzled leader who calls the shots. You've got a little boy vampire, whose age and urges are out of sync with his appearance. And a smart-assed Hudson-like character who... Hey!, wait a minute, that IS Hudson. In fact, this movie's crawling with Aliens alumni. Which makes the dopey love story and the cheesy Tangerine Dream score forgivable. I especially like that the vampires don't "poof," explode when the sun hits them. They roast. 3 stars.
Edmond: Come for the stilted Mamet-isms that chafe and challenge and sound like nothing anyone's ever actually said. Stay for the parade of panty-clad young actresses. For Mamet fans only. 4 stars.
Half Nelson: Ryan Gosling gives a performance so natural that combined with the shakey-cam you sometimes think you're watching a documentary. It's not easy to do what he's doing here. It's not even easy to describe what he's doing here. It just feels real. And, wow, Shareeka Epps is right there with him. Amazing. 4 stars.
Children of Men: I went into this movie with HIGH EXPECTATIONS (stay tuned, I will come back to this) and this movie met them. Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine, the rest. All very real performances. The future is fully imagined. And it's grim. The scary parts are truly scary. The refugee camp makes you glad you didn't live in 40's Poland. Or today's Palestine. I haven't rocked in my seat trying to jump start the car in the movie in a while: "go, go, go."
Go. 5 stars.
Also, if you enjoy post-apocalyptic horror, read Cormac McCarthy's new novel, The Road. I didn't sleep right for a week. It haunts me.
2 comments:
Blade Trinity - couldn't agree more. Except that ANY movie with Jessica Biel is worth it. This is why remote controls come with a MUTE button and a fast forward button. And in her case - a pause button.
Agreed. But boy, oh boy, has she made a lot of pause button movies. It took her 13 tries to pick a winner (no, not Derek Jeter) and make The Illusionist, which is flawed but I'll allow I probably feel that way because I watched it while sucking jet fumes and poopy diaper reek in the crammed coach section of Delta's PHX-LGA Christmas special.
Here's hoping Home of the Brave is a "sound on" movie.
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